Active Listening in 2023: Definition, Skills, and Examples

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Active listening is an essential part of communication. Without active listening skills, you can not become a good communicator.
Active listening skills are considered to be one of the most important soft skills. Possessing active listening skills guarantees effective communication.
In this article, you will learn the definition of active listening, key active listening skills, bad listening skills to avoid, benefits of active listening skills, and ways to improve your active listening skills.

What is Active Listening?

Active listening is more than hearing what someone is saying. It is the process of listening attentively and understanding what the other person is saying.
Active listening involves paying attention to verbal messages and non-verbal cues. It also involves making a conscious effort to understand the speaker’s messages.
This method of listening makes the speaker feel heard and valued. It also conveys a mutual understanding between the speaker and listener.

7 Key Active Listening Skills That Will Change Your Life

Below are the 7 key active listening skills that will change your life:

1. Be attentive

Active listeners pay full attention when listening to the speaker’s messages. They avoid any form of distractions like noise, looking outside the window, glancing at their watch or phone, etc.
Active listeners also avoid exchanging verbal or non-verbal messages with others while listening to the speaker. Being attentive makes the speaker feel respected and more comfortable.

2. Paraphrase

Restate the speaker’s information or ideas in your own words to indicate that you fully understand their information. This tells the speaker that you are listening actively and help you check your understanding of the message.
Examples:
  • So you’re upset because the lecturer refused to review your project
  • It sounds like you are looking for a new apartment

3. Ask open-ended questions

Ask questions that will allow the speaker to share additional information. These questions should be open-ended i.e. questions that cannot be answered with a “yes” or “no” and require a longer response.
Examples:
  • What do you think about this project?
  • How do you see yourself in the future?
  • What are your plans after graduation?

4. Ask clarifying questions

Clarifying questions are questions that the listener asks the speaker to clarify an unclear statement.
Active listeners ask clarifying questions to get a clearer understanding of the speaker’s messages. Clarifying questions can also be used to gain additional information.
Examples:
  • Did you say the library is two miles from the Senate house?
  • Did I hear you say the lecturer won’t be around this week?

5. Limit Judgments

Active listeners don’t judge, they listen without criticizing the speaker in their minds.
Try to remain non-judgmental when you listen to the speaker. This will make the speaker feel more comfortable with sharing their messages or ideas.

6. Use nonverbal cues

Active listeners make use of non-verbal cues like eye contact, nodding, leaning forward e.t.c to indicate interest in the speaker’s messages. They also pay attention to the speaker’s nonverbal cues to gain more information.
For example, you can nod your head to show that you understand what the speaker is saying. Similarly, you can maintain eye contact with the speaker to show that you are interested in the speaker’s messages.

7. Avoid interrupting

Active listeners don’t interrupt the speaker while speaking, instead, they wait till the speaker is done talking.
When you interrupt, it communicates that you don’t care about the speaker’s messages.
Other Examples of Active Listening Skills
Below are other examples of active listening skills:

8. Use brief verbal affirmations

You can use brief verbal affirmations to help the speaker feel more comfortable and show that you have an interest in the speaker’s messages.
Examples:
  • You are right
  • I understand
  • Yes, your ideas are valid
  • I agree

9. Empathize with the Speaker

Try to reflect the speaker’s emotions and feelings. The speaker’s facial expressions should match your own.
For example, if someone is telling you that they lost their parents, you should display facial expressions that indicate sadness, instead of smiling.

10. Allow silence

When you are in a conversation, don’t interrupt or fill periods of silence with speech. Allow the speaker to be silent, this gives the speaker a chance to think and collect their thoughts.
Silence also allows you (the listener) to take a break and process the information you have received.

10 Bad Listening Habits to Avoid

To become an active listener you must be ready to let go of some bad listening habits. These habits will prevent you from understanding the speaker’s messages
Below are 10 bad listening habits to avoid:
  • Criticizing the speaker
  • Jumping to conclusions
  • Displaying negative body language such as leaning backward, looking down, folding your arms, etc.
  • Interrupting
  • Being defensive
  • Tolerating distractions
  • Faking attention
  • Rehearsing what to say next
  • Listening to more than one conversation at a time
  • Focusing on the speaker instead of the message.

Benefits of Active Listening Skills

There are numerous benefits attached to being an active listener. People with active listening skills enjoy the following benefits.
  • Build relationships
Active listening skills can help you build or maintain personal and professional relationships.
Most people want to build relationships with active listeners because they make them feel comfortable.
  • Prevents missing important information
When you pay full attention while the speaker is talking, you will be able to hear all the necessary information.
  • A clearer understanding of a topic
Active listening helps you to retain information and gain a clearer understanding of the topic discussed.
  • Resolve conflicts
Active listening can prevent or resolve conflicts because it encourages you to see issues from different perspectives and recognize other people’s feelings.
Conflicts often arise when people don’t feel heard or when their messages are misinterpreted. All these things can be prevented when you practice active listening.
  • Saves time and money
Active listening can save you from making mistakes that will cost you money and time.
When you don’t listen attentively to instructions you may make mistakes that will cost you money to rectify.
  • Identify and solve problems
Active listening can help you identify the speaker’s problems and ways you can resolve the problems.
It will be difficult to identify someone’s problem if you don’t listen attentively to their messages and nonverbal cues.
  • Makes you approachable
Active listeners are approached because they listen without judging and also make people feel comfortable when they share their ideas.

Ways to Improve Your Active Listening Skills

Active listening skills are one of the most important soft skills, so it is necessary to possess these skills. Just like other skills, active listening skills can be developed or improved.
You can become an active listener by using the tips listed below:

  • Face the speaker and maintain eye contact

Maintaining eye contact is important when you are in a conversation. Avoid staring, this can be intimidating. Eye contact tells the speaker that you are interested in their messages or information.

  • Don’t interrupt

Interrupting gives the impression that you think you are more important, or that you don’t have an interest in the speaker’s messages.
Avoid interrupting the speaker. When you want to ask a question make sure the speaker is already done talking.

  • Don’t jump to conclusions

Try to focus on the speaker’s messages and avoid jumping to conclusions. Don’t assume that you know what the speaker what to say next.
You should not also judge the speaker based on what you have heard before. Always listen with an open mind.

  • Ask questions

Instead of assuming that you understand the speaker’s messages, ask questions to gain clarification. Make sure your questions are relevant.
You can also ask questions to gain more information from the speaker.

  • Don’t rehearse answers in your mind

You can’t listen and be thinking of what to say at the same time. Rehearsing answers in your mind can prevent you from listening to the full message.

  • Avoid distractions

Try to shut out any distractions when listening to the speaker. You should avoid talking to others, looking at your phone, playing with your hair, and many more.

  • Practice

Practice makes perfect. Make sure you use active listening techniques in your everyday conversations.
Becoming an active listener is not easy, you have to be ready to learn and relearn new active listening techniques.

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Conclusion

Possessing active listening skills is as important as a good GPA score. As a student, active listening skills are part of the essential soft skills to have.
Most employers look forward to seeing active listening skills on your CV or Resume. Adding active listening skills and other soft skills to your CV can increase your chances of getting a job.
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