30 Majee eBhaibheri Anonakidza Achakuparura

0
6097
Zvinosetsa Bhaibheri Jokes
Zvinosetsa Bhaibheri Jokes

Wagadzirira here kunakidzwa nekutenda ne30 yedu Inosetsa Majee eBhaibheri? Kana uri kutsvaga kuseka, chimwe chinhu chinokukurudzira, kana majee ekugovana pagungano rechechi yako kana kuisa bulletin yechechi kwauri.

Heino muunganidzwa wemajee echitendero anosekesa zvachose. Iri rondedzero yemakumi matatu eMaseke eBhaibheri Anonakidza achakupaza iwe.

Sei majee eBhaibheri anosetsa?

MaKristu mazhinji ane pfungwa dzakaoma uye vakafungidzira kuti bhaibheri nechiKristu zvinofanirwa kuomarara uye zvitsvene zvakazara. Zvisinei, kune ufakazi hweBhaibheri hwokuti Mwari anofarikanya majee, uye unofanirawo kudaro, chero bedzi ane utano uye asingashurikidzi. Zvirevo 17:22 inotaura kuti mwoyo unofara wakafanana nomushonga.

Bhaibheri rinoona majee sorudzi rwomushonga, naizvozvo zvino zvatava nechokwadi ichocho, ngatitangei!

Ese majee ebhaibheri akanyorwa pazasi akakodzera vana, vechidiki, uye vakuru.

Aya majee akanakirawo kutanga mharidzo kana kutendeutsa vatendi nevasingatendi kuchiKristu. Inobatsira vateereri vako kana vadzidzi kuchengetedza mharidzo kana nhaurirano.

Related: 50 Mibvunzo Inonakidza yeBhaibheri Trivia.

30 Majee eBhaibheri Anonakidza Achakuparura

Heano majee eBhaibheri anosetsa anokupaza uye nekukupa mufaro waunoda:

#1. Ndege yainge izere nevanhu vasingataridzike yakabonderana nerori. Pavakafa, Mwari akavapa vose chido chimwe chete. “Ndinoda kuva akanaka,” akadaro munhu wokutanga. Zvakaitika nokuti Mwari akagura minwe yake. Chinhu chimwechete chakataurwa nemunhu wechipiri, uye Mwari akaita zvimwe chetezvo. Chishuvo ichi chakaramba chiri muboka rose.

Mwari akaona kuti murume wekupedzisira mumutsetse aingogegedzera zvisingaite. Murume wekupedzisira akanga achiseka achiumburuka pasi panguva iyo Mwari akasvika kuvanhu gumi vokupedzisira. Pakasvika nguva yake, murume wacho akaseka ndokuti, “Ndinoshuva kuti dai vose vakanyangara zvakare.

#2. Mumwe muparidzi akawira mugungwa ndokutadza kushambira. "Munoda rubatsiro here changamire?" akadanidzira mukuru wechikepe chaipfuura. “Ndichachengetwa naMwari,” muparidzi akadaro akadzikama.

Maminiti mashomanene gare gare, rimwe igwa rakasvika, uye muredzi akabvunza, kuti: “Hei, munoda betsero here?” “Aiwa ndichachengetedzwa naMwari,” muparidzi akadaro zvakare. Muparidzi akazonyura ndokuenda kudenga. “Neiko usina kundiponesa?” muparidzi akabvunza Mwari. “Iwe benzi, ndakutumira magwa maviri,” Mwari akapindura.

#3. Munhu ari kutaura naMwari. "Makore miriyoni akareba sei Mwari?" “Inenge miniti kwandiri,” Mwari anopindura kudaro. "Imarii miriyoni yemadhora, Mwari?" "Imari kwandiri." “Nhai Mwari, ndingawanawo here sendi?” Mira kwechipiri.

#4. Vakomana vaviri vainge vakagara paplaza pakabva pasvika shumba yainge yava nemazuva akawanda isati yadya ichivhima. Shumba inotanga kudzingirira varume vaviri ava. Vanomhanya sezvavanogona, uye apo mumwe wavo anoneta, anonyengetera, “Ndapota, Ishe, shandurai shumba iyi kuva muKristu.” Anoona shumba yakapfugama paanotarisa-tarisa kuti shumba ichiri kudzingirira here. Anocheuka anzwa kurerukirwa kuti munamato wake wapindurwa, ofamba akananga kushumba. Achiswedera pedyo neshumba, anonzwa ichinamata ichiti, Mazvita Ishe, nechikafu chandava kuda kuwana.

#5. Vakomana vaduku vaviri vaiva nhubu dzinozivikanwa zvikuru, dzaiba chinhu chipi nechipi uye chinhu chiri chose chavaigona kuwana, kubatanidza zvinhu zvomuchechi. Mumwe wevakomana vacho akamiswa nomupristi akabvunza kuti, “Mwari ari kupi?” “Mwari arikupi?” muprista akabvunza zvakare, mukomana ndokukwenya. Mukomana akachema achibuda mucathedral achipinda mumba make akasvikohwanda muwadhiropu. Hanzvadzi yake yakazomuwana ndokubvunza kuti, “Chii chanetsa?” “Tava mudambudziko zvino!” Akadaro mukomana uya achichema. Mwari akashaika, uye vanotenda kuti takamutora.

#6. Mupristi, mushumiri, uye rabhi vari kukwikwidza kuti vaone kuti ndiani ari nani pamabasa avo. Saka vanopinda musango, votsvaga bere, voedza kurishandura. Vanozosangana. “Apo ndakawana bere, ndakariverengera kubva muKatekisimu ndokurimwaya nemvura tsvene,” muprista anotanga kudaro. chirairo chake chekutanga svondo rinouya. “Ndakawana bheya pedyo nerukova ndokuparidza shoko dzvene raMwari,” mushumiri wacho anodaro.

“Bere rakanakidzwa zvikuru zvokuti rakandibvumira kuti ndiribhabhatidze.” Vose vari vaviri vanotarira pasi rabhi, uyo ane muviri wakaumbwa uye akarara paguri. “Mukurangarira,” anodaro, “zvimwe ndingadai ndisina kutanga nokuchecheudzwa.

#7. Masisita mana akamirira kupinda denga. Mwari vanobvunza sisita wekutanga kuti akambotadza here. “Zvakanaka, ndaona mboro,” anodaro. Saka Mwari anomwaya mvura tsvene pameso ake ndokumubvumira kupinda. Anobvunza sisita wechipiri mubvunzo mumwe chetewo, uye anopindura kuti, “Ndabata mboro,” saka anomwaya mvura tsvene pamaoko ake ndokumubvumira kupinda.

Mu<em>nun wechina anobva asvetukira sisita wechitatu mumutsara, uye Mwari anoshamisika kuti nei akadaro. “Zvakanaka, ndinofanira kuikwenya asati agara mairi,” sisita wechina anopindura kudaro.

#8. Vari munzira kuenda kuchechi, mudzidzisi weSandesikuru akabvunza vadzidzi vake, kuti: “Uye neiko kuri madikanwa kunyarara muchechi?” “Nemhaka yokuti vanhu vakarara,” mumwe musikana muduku akapindura kudaro.

#9. Makore gumi oga oga, mamongi eimba yemamongi anobvumirwa kutyora mhiko yavo yekunyarara uye kutaura mazwi maviri. Pashure pemakore gumi, uyu ndiwo mukana wekutanga wemamongi. Anombomira kwekanguva oti, “Kudya kwakaipa.” “Kurara zvakaoma,” anodaro makore gumi gare gare.

Makore gumi gare gare, izuva guru. “Ndakarega,” anodaro, achitarisa mumongi mukuru kwenguva refu. “Handishamisiki,” anodaro mumongi mukuru. “Wave kungochema kubva zvawasvika.

#10. Chechi inogara vakomana vatatu vechiKristu. Vakomana vanoti rimwe zuva, “Mufundisi, Mufundisi, Mufundisi! Hatina mhosva yatakapara. Mukupindura, mufundisi anoti, “Zvakanaka. Mumwe nomumwe wenyu akapiwa chinhu chimwe chakaipa.” Mumwe wevakomana ava anodzoka ndokuti, “Mufundisi, Mufundisi, Mufundisi! Ndakapwanya fafitera remota." “Enda kuseri, unamate, unwe mvura tsvene,” anodaro mufundisi. Mukomana wechipiri anodzoka ndokuti, “Mufundisi, Mufundisi, Mufundisi! Ndakarova mukadzi kumeso." “Enda kuseri, unamate, uye unwe mvura tsvene,” mufundisi anopindura kudaro. Mukomana wechitatu anopinda ndokuti, “Mufundisi, Mufundisi, Mufundisi! Ndakaita weti mumvura tsvene.

#11. Kunzwa kureurura kunoshanda sechinotsiva muprista weKaturike. Haana chokwadi kuti chii chaanofanira kurayira mureururi kuti aite kureurura mhosva yaanenge aita mushure mekuitira sahwira wake tsitsi. Anodongorera kunze kwenzvimbo inoreurura obvunza mumwe mukomana ari pedyo kuti baba vanobhadharisa basa rei. "Kazhinji Mushwi uye kukwira kumba," anodaro mukomana alter.

#12. Mudzidzisi aiedza kunzwisisa kwevadzidzi vake mazwi anopikisa. "Zvakasiyana zvinoenda sei?" akabvunza. “Mira,” mumwe mudzidzi akapindura. “Zvakanaka kwazvo,” akadaro mudzidzisi wacho. "Chii chinonzi antonym for amandant?" “Chiitiko,” akadaro mumwe mudzidzi.

#13. Kwenguva yokutanga, mumwe mukomana muduku muchechi akacherekedza maasha achipfuura nomundiro dzokupira. “Musandibhadharire baba, ndine makore ari pasi peshanu,” mukomana akadaro achidanidzira vachiswedera pedyo nechigaro chake.

#14. Makereke anofanira kurambidza varume kushandisa Bible Mobile Apps apo mharidzo ichiri kuenderera mberi; 90% yavo iri kutarisa zvibodzwa zvemitambo.

#15. Haasi wese anokubvunza ane hanya…vamwe vanongoda kuona kuti huroyi hwavo hwashanda here.

#16. Kana mutori wevhidhiyo wechechi ari mukomana wako, unoratidza pasvondo rechechi kakawanda kupfuura muparidzi.

#17. Varoorani vachangobva kuchata vakakoka mufundisi wavo wechikuru kuzodya neSvondo. Minister vakabvunza mwana wavo zvavakanga vari mukicheni vachibika. “Mbudzi,” muduku akapindura.

#18. Munin'ina wangu achangodzoka nemusikana wake nhasi, vatove ne6 hours vachinditarisa. Vanofunga kuti ndichabuda panze kuti ndivape privacy. Ndapota, Mwari!!

#19. Vamwe vanhu vanenge vachitora memo muchechi sekunge vachazoverenga gare gare.

#20. Vamwe vasikana vachati, “Ndinoda murume anotya Mwari.” Nekudaro, mavhiki maviri mushure mekugamuchira chikumbiro chako, anokumbira iPhone kwete King James Bible.

#21. Mvura Tsvene inogadzirwa sei? Unotora mvurawo zvayo wobika dhiyabhorosi mairi.

#22. Kaini akazvidza munun’una wake kusvikira rinhiko? Chero bedzi ari Abheri, ndiko kuti.

#23. Nei Mwari akatanga kusika murume, ipapo mukadzi? Akanga asingadi kuudzwa maitirwo echisiko

#24. Nei Noa akanzwa achida kuranga uye kuranga huku dzaiva muAreka?
Vaitaura nemutauro weshiri. Waiziva here kuti motokari dzaivapo munguva yaJesu?
Hongu. Maererano neBhaibheri, vadzidzi vose vaiva nepfungwa imwe.

#25. Sei vachiti 'Ameni' pane kuti 'Akadzi' pakupera kwemunamato? Isu tinoimba maHymns pane Yake nechikonzero chimwe chete!

#26. Madhongi anotumirei panguva yezororo? Kwaziso kubva kuMule-tide.

#27. Ndiani akanga ari murume akachenjera zvikurusa weBhaibheri? Abhurahamu. Aiziva zvinhu zvakawanda.

#28. Noa anofanira kunge akawana mukaka wemhou dzaiva muAreka, uye chii chaakatorera madhadha? Quackers.

#29. Ndiani akanga ari mutambi mukuru weBhaibheri? Samson — ndiye akaburutsa imba.

#30. Ndiani akanga ari mukadzi akanakisisa weBhaibheri wezvemari? Mwanasikana waFarao. Akaenda kumahombekombe erwizi rwaNire ndokutora muprofita muduku.

Tinokurudzira zvakare:

mhedziso

Majee echechi anowedzera nhamba yevanhu vanonyatsoteerera mharidzo. Sei? Nokuti munhu wose anofarira kuseka. Uye, ngative vakatendeseka, mharidzo kana mharidzo inotsigirwa nemamwe majee echechi akachena uye anonakidza zvikuru anoyeukwa.

Rangarira kuwedzera mamwe majee mumharidzo yako inotevera.